Oh GOD I just got an email about STEPtember. For those that don’t know, this is essentially “walking to support a cure for cerebral palsy”.

This is essentially “Let’s do this thing that people with cerebral palsy at best have some difficulty with, so we can remind ourselves how lucky we are to be able to walk, and how much they miss out on, so we can find a CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE.”

This is essentially the same mentality that leads people to pine on my behalf for all the sunsets I miss, even though, at any other time, they’re going about their lives totally unconcerned with the sun’s position relative to them.

And everyone that espouses this attitude despite ample evidence that it doesn’t need to apply is welcome to, to refactor something my three-year-old self apparently shouted in the middle of Kmart, consummate their relationship with their nasal passage.